In my estimation people, as people, fall in to two camps: those who fantasize about living in the world of the Jetsons and those that wish they were neighbors with the Flintstones.
I, myself, am a Flintstone girl. If you know that I was an archaeology major, that’s probably obvious. Or maybe it’s not so obvious if you also know that I’m a total geek* (*geek: a peculiar or otherwise odd person, especially one who is perceived to be overly obsessed with one or more things including those of intellectuality, electronics, etc. I programmed my Tivo in UNDER the 3 hour estimate. That’s right, whatup. )
That being said, if I had my choice between living during the dawning age of Man and living in the future, I would absolutely choose the former. Even if I wouldn’t have email. Or reality TV. Or walls.
If you’ve ever read Clan of the Cave Bear, you know there is something intoxicatingly romantic* about hunting on the grassy steppes of Western Europe and residing in a cave (*romantic: one who lives as if in a novel). No? Not so romantic to you? Well neither is being able to control the weather with a switch.
As much as I love the internet, it’s disheartening to come up with a totally original idea only to have your pride shattered with one Google search. More and more, it seems there is nothing new under the sun. Of course, I know this not to be true, but I just have no real desire to live in a world that makes it easier and easier to never leave your couch (I’m talking to YOU, Comcast triple play feature that announces your phone calls on the TV screen so you DON’T HAVE TO MOVE YOUR HEAD).
Yes, I’m well aware that post-post-postmodernism isn’t necessarily synonymous with “lazy,” but when you really think about what all you can accomplish with just your PHONE, it’s just not as exciting as the thought of creating, you know, everything.
What’s ironic, however, (vis-à-vis myself), is that mankind is pre-wired to create. So even if I found myself hobnobbing with Creb and Moonbear, you can bet your knickers I’d be the first to come up with tools. Or beds. Or toilets.
Of course, there are definite downsides to Ice Age living – for example, my bear phobia would probably be tested in ways that make me pee myself just thinking about the possibilities. And it’s true that as much as I love to camp, I LoooovVVVEeee to come home, shower, put on pajamas I didn’t weave myself and order take-out……..so….maybe I just don’t know where I belong. Maybe I just want to be a construction worker.
But I digress.
Here’s a quick test to figure out which you might be, if you don’t already know:
You Might be a Flintstone If:
• The aftermath of a nuclear holocaust (minus all the charred skin, radiation poisoning, not being able to live above ground for 50 years and cannibalism) actually sounds thrilling to you.
• The aftermath of a nuclear holocaust (minus all the charred skin, radiation poisoning, not being able to live above ground for 50 years and cannibalism) actually sounds thrilling to you.
• A pet dinosaur sounds WAY more awesome than a robotic dog.
• You cried during Avatar and dreamt that night about connecting to the trees with your long, magic braid.
• When you talk to animals, a not so small part of you expects a response.
• You think scars (from lion fights) are cool.
• You’ve ever desired to hunt and/or gather
• Solitary confinement isn’t considered punishment to you, but relief.
• A man riding bareback with a pelt of some sort slung over his shoulder is hoootttt.
• When you drive past huge expanses of field on the interstate it takes all your willpower not to pull over and run through it, letting the leafy arms of corn stalks whip against your face as you spin and twirl about.
You Might be a Jetson If:
• A home with concrete walls, cork floors and windows in shapes other than rectangles gives you the good shivers.
• You would kill to live in the Matrix with your Surrogate hunting replicants* (*replicants: human clones used to serve in the colonies outside Earth but with fixed life spans).
• You aren’t scared of living in the sky.
• Frank Geary’s “method” of creating “art” and/or actual structures by crumpling a piece of paper and throwing it on the floor really “speaks to you.”
• You’re already signed up for Comcast’s triple play package.
• The homes in Dwell actually look cozy.
• A man with body parts that aren’t all human is hoooootttt.
• Your favorite colors are black and gray.
So – which are you?
